fear, asceticism & the nirvana principle

Today I had a good friend suggest that I take a look at fear.
Here is my take on it.....

Fear, the ultimate controlling force in our hearts, our minds, used by the powers that be to manipulate the masses. What is it about fear that makes us gullible? enslaves us against our desires? and turns us into good little members of society that do what we are told?

Ok, so I bet you are wondering, what is this asceticism & nirvana principle that you speak of?

Asceticism is the act of denying yourself of 'normal' pleasures be it for reasons of self discipline or religion. Picture a monk, living a humble and basic life or perhaps the anorexic who restricts his/her basic needs (essentially food but also a voice, a life, a right, enjoyment, love and so on).  Obviously the monk has his reasons for the way he chooses to live while the anorexic exists with the constant monologue that all stems back to the fear of being 'fat', not 'good enough' etc.

The 'nirvana principle' is one of Freud's terms. Nirvana being the Buddhist concept of nothingness, void and sometimes described as heaven.  Freud would say that the 'nirvana principle' is our basic longing for peace hence an escape from all the things we fear.  The average person achieves their day to day 'nirvana' through music, television, drugs, alcohol and sleep.  The nirvana principle is brought on by avoiding our mundane existence where we are controlled and avoid our true selves (including our fears).

President Franklin Roosevelt was quoted as saying "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself".  The anticipation of our worst fears becoming reality is pretty frightening if you take a moment to sit down and think about it........

Fear attacks the ego, the superego, the identity and possibly a sense of sanity. We've all heard about the 'fight or flight' response living creatures have. In 2013, for those of us living in a first world environment, are we really faced with the stress that causes the 'fight or flight'? Or is this response something so ingrained in our makeup that we carry it through modern life? 

What are you scared of?
(And I am not talking about phobias)

Most of us are scared of being alone, rejected and/or misunderstood. We do all that we can to ensure our safety from these terrifying conundrums. We do what our family, loved ones, neighbours, friends, colleagues and the almighty television tells us is acceptable (or at least a version of the permitted behaviour). We have our Sunday roast, we mow the lawns and keep the garden tidy, we work in jobs where our minds rot and are not encouraged to grow, then we come home to a television that instills fear via the news or a series (if you do not have X then Y will not like you etc). It is all a load of bollocks!

What would happen if we just said.... FUCK IT!
I will not wear a fucking suit or other gender 'appropriate' outfits!
I will not mow my lawns because I am too busy reading a fucking book & educating myself!
I will not EVER look like I stepped out of the pages of Vogue magazine because I am not a manipulated photograph
I do not care if you do not accept me in the way that I choose to exist because I am being true to my fucking self!

Seriously..... what would happen in your life if you said "fuck it!"?  It could be a bit messy in the beginning yeah, but then what could happen?......... Think about it!

What if we all could run away and live how we wanted to live?
What if law was upheld because things are right or wrong instead of via wanky texts & even wankier lawyers? What if we could love who we love and hate who we hate? Why does society fear this so much? Why is being different and singing out of tune so fucking bad?

Who the hell decided that life would be a formula?

• birth
• learn to eat, walk, dress, shit in a toilet
• school
• work
• marriage
• kids
• work
• retirement
• do the garden, play bridge, eat scones
• disease
• death

That's the script we are all given, some of us obey it, some of us don't.  It is pretty fucking intense to fight against a global expectation and break free to be your own person. Then of course, there are all our own personal circumstances, sexuality, beliefs, health and inadequate quirks. What makes some people appear to be stronger? Maybe it is a major nirvana principle they have adopted? For the rest of us, we battle on, do what we can, when we can. We jump and have faith that the net will appear. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. What choice do we have? Stay inside or take the risk to be an individual? Both come with risks. The question is, will fear be your defining attribute?

Why "The Biggest Loser" is bad

An introduction to my eating disorder... It all began when I was about 10yrs old. Having footage beamed into our lounge rooms every night of starving Ethiopian children just filled me with immense guilt. I would tell my Mother that I would eat less so that those kids could have my share (little did I understand about capitalism). I managed my eating disorder, staying at a healthy weight but trying every bizarre new diet on the market plus a few I made up myself. That was until I was 31 & I longed for the voice to return, the one that makes you strong & able to say no to food. Before I knew it, this "voice" had taken over my life. I was severely emaciated & weighed EVERYTHING before I even thought of consuming it. With the support of great people, I, luckily, have been able to recover. It's been a long road, I lost my soul. Since my recovery I have lost my fiance to suicide which lead to nervous breakdowns that landed me in hospital. Thankfully, anorexia didn't rear his ugly head this time. 

The Biggest Loser
I still recall the very first season.
Who knows what stage of anorexia I was at, what I do recall was being thrilled with the motivation it gave me to exercise after the episode.  Obviously, I wasn't the only one.  In the beginning, my partner & I would see a number of people heading out of their houses for a brisk evening walk or jog.  I thought this was a good thing. As the show continued, I saw the obsession with calorie counting, specific diets and of course, the Sunday nail biter "the weigh in".  I wished I could lose as much as them.  I couldn't.

As the years went by, in my opinion, the show got worse, more extreme. Today, I cannot watch it for I learned (the hard way) how to manage a healthy weight. All I see in the commercials is contestants being belittled, put down, yelled at, being sick, crying and with forlorn expressions. The saddest part is to think that this show is aired in a very family friendly time slot. Just trying to imagine how many families sit down to watch this program together makes me hang my head in shame. What have we become? I really do feel for all those kids out there that are subject to this propaganda.  The messages they must be learning could be not only damaging but life threatening. Let's think about it (from the mind of our inner child)...

• It is ok if people in authority yell at me and call me names,it does make me feel bad about myself but they are "trainers" so they must be "right"
• If i am thin i am worthy of a relationship (think back to the "Singles" series that aired last year).
• People cheer and get excited when I lose weight, it must be VERY important (and being 'big' must be VERY bad).
• I am defined by my size (which is only good if I look like someone who works out at the gym for a living).
• I now associate the word "loser" with someone who is bad (fat, lazy, greedy etc)

Fat shaming, the obesity 'epidemic' and  extreme over correction is no way to control expanding waistlines.
Why, as a society, can we not appreciate good deeds, intelligence, kindness and respect?  It all comes down to what we/they can sell.  I can only be happy that I am now in a fairly strong recovery because programs that embrace unhealthy under eating & obsessional behaviour would only serve as a trigger.

To this day, I cannot believe that this type of show is allowed on the air, with a failing public health system, it shocks me to see that people are being pushed to follow this extremism.  Show me a study that says losing more than 500g per week is healthy or a study that says morbidly obese people should be expected to work out in a gym (I was so worried that "Big Kev" was going to have a heart attack!), I now know what a healthy diet consists of, how healthy weight loss works and the importance of fitness appropriate exercise. From what I've seen TBL doesn't promote this.