Apparently you never get over your first love. However, I don't remember my first love as some big monumentus event that impacted my view of future relationships. Looking back on it now, it was probably your typical teenage experience. Yes, I was most likely excited about the prospect of having a boyfriend and of course I remember my first kiss. Again, not mind blowing! ;)Sure, I had a few boyfriends before I entered a long term relationship. To be honest, they were jerks. If I am totally honest, I was probably a jerk too! (Nobody is cool in their teens... Nobody!). Those early relationships taught me a lot about the influence of peers (or attempted influence). I learnt that love can turn you into a paranoid psychopath. Friends, books, movies and TV never warned me about that. They taught me about myself, about who I am, what I expect and how obsessive I can become. I learnt that love can break your heart in ways you could never imagine. I am still learning about that. (Do we ever stop learning that?)
Today I am a bit jaded by the whole love-thang. Maybe there has been too much devastation, betrayal and loss? The idea of it (in a relationship context) is 'nice' and I am glad other people experience it as a positive but for me.... right now.... relationships = pain and I am not ready for more of that. The love I get from my friends, family, animals and a few little people that I adore beyond words, they are enough to get me by.... well, not always but I accept the limitations.
Who was your first love?
Did it shape you?
Do you remember it fondly... or not?
How do you feel about it now?
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